Get Outside!

Today, January 18th, marks the second day of spring semester. I've been at school for two days.

And I'm already having epiphanies. My mind is just LOVING being back in an educational environment I guess! Which is totally valid, being that I spent the majority of break (post-vacation) grocery shopping and watching Netflix, so...

Every morning, I wake up early and walk to the gym. My walk is usually about ten minutes, and it's the very first thing I do to start my day. Along the way, I people watch as crowds of middle schoolers head off to school, workpeople congregate at the train station to head into the city, and fellow Rams make their way to morning classes.

On days I have classes, I have a five minute walk to campus, and then am required to walk from class to class outside. Once I finish classes I take the long hike across campus to the library, where I study or do work. Again, I people watch. I bump into acquaintances and friends and share a laugh. I watch the track team take a run together (that I am very grateful I'm not a part of), I watch I watch I watch.

Somedays I take the long route home, going out of my way to walk past the tennis courts and the student center to see what's going on. My school has a beautiful campus, with extremely well-kept landscaping and gothic architecture. There are several sports fields and fountains and just so much to see.

I've never really appreciated it until today.

Every Wednesday I'm off from classes, and I use my free day to visit my dad in the city. We always grab lunch at some place I found on Instagram, and then we walk through Bryant Park or go shopping in Soho or...literally the list goes on forever, my dad is super easy-going and never complains about anything I do, even that one time I dragged him to Whole Foods and we had to carry 6 bags of groceries all throughout the city!

My dad is away on business this week, and my second-best option (visiting a good friend in the city) fell through, leaving me with an entire day do to homework and sit on my bed. At first, I was excited. Doing nothing all day? Good change of pace! However, after I went to the gym, came home and showered, I plopped down with a Plato book in my hand and realized this was my entire day.

I did homework for hours, but by 1 PM I was itching for a change of scenery. Between staring at my laptop screen, scrolling through Instagram, and reading, I just felt lonely. I needed to get out, breathe a little.

I decided to grab my bag and my keys and just head out. I did have to go to the library, but easily could have waited until tomorrow. I rearranged my to-do list and I was off.

The second I stepped outside, the second the cold air rushed into my lungs, something in my soul perked up. I continued to walk, all the way watching people sit on a stoop and laugh together, another woman on the phone, two children racing down the street. I made it to campus, which was very quiet because there were classes in session and therefore few people bustling around. I decided to take the long way to the library, and stopped to sit in a garden complete with a fountain (same one pictured above :D)

Suddenly, the world didn't feel as dark as it did 20 minutes ago, locked up in my small room. I didn't feel lonely anymore, and I didn't even talk to anyone. All I had to do was GET OUTSIDE, invest myself in the world, be observant, and appreciate my surroundings.

During the depths of my eating disorder, I suffered from many other disorders; OCD, anxiety, and depression. I isolated myself, refusing to get out of bed and never wanting to leave the house. I wish I could have seen then that I was only digging myself deeper, I wasn't using my isolation as a defense mechanism (like I thought) but actually as an aid to the depression. I was in a war against myself and I was helping the OTHER SIDE. So irrational.

Anyway, the hour I spent out of the house today really solidified something for me. It's truly incredible what fresh air and human interaction can do to you. When you choose to put yourself out there, and in this sense I literally mean just going outside, your world opens up. For all my fellow introverts, here's the good news: you don't even have to talk to anyone. Seriously. People watching is such a relaxation tool for me. It allows me to savor the benefits of human interaction without having to constantly make myself uncomfortable.

It is so important to get outside, to be a part of the world. You're not living, not truly and deeply, until you decide to change your lifestyle. I know your bed is SO comfortable, I know you hate talking to people, I know you're tired. But to take even a few minutes each day, or whenever you can, to simply step outside, drive to a shopping mall and just walk around, take a longer route back to your dorm...whatever it may be, I simply encourage you to embrace the world.

It's truly amazing what something so simple can do for the mind. I care passionately about my physical health, but to me my mental health is everything. If I'm feeling dark, alone, hopeless, those are my red flags. Not a poor workout, not a "bad" meal. My mental health matters most above all, and each and every little thing that contributes to its wellbeing is worth my time.

I understand this may be a topic that not many people can relate to, but realizing this was just such an "AHA" moment this afternoon that I couldn't help but share. I hope this concept can resonate with some of you, and I hope that ALL of you can make more of an effort to nurse your mental health ALWAYS.

Sending love!!